Meet the cats

The menace and the floof

They grew up together, they love each other dearly, and they fight constantly. Here's who's who.

Poltergeist

Polter · the weird little man

Poltergeist, or Polter for short, is a grey short-haired tabby whose mother was a farm cat. His father remains a mystery. Could have been a bobcat, for all we know.

He's a strangely shaped cat: big ears, gigantic eyeballs, a slightly-too-small head, and legs that go on forever. He's so long overall that we've taken to calling his breed the Canadian Long Cat.

Personality-wise, Polter is an evil chaos monkey. He gets into everything, opens doors and cupboards, hides, jump-scares Phantom, breaks every rule we make, and is generally a bit of a jerk about it. He's also extremely chatty and smart, and will invent brand-new syllables trying to copy human speech.

He is, without question, the least coordinated cat we have ever known. Slow reflexes, terrible balance, and a long track record of falling off things without landing on his feet.

Under all the chaos

Polter has a genuinely sweet side, and he's actually a very insecure, anxious boy. He used to over-groom from stress, and keeping him exercised and busy has helped enormously. For reasons nobody understands, he still insists on grooming all the fur off his belly. We call it his manscaping routine.

Breed: Canadian Long Cat (unofficially). Officially a grey domestic shorthair tabby.
Origin: Farm-cat mom, father unknown
Born: Around 2019
Known for: Opening cupboards, jump scares, talking back
Weakness: Landing on his feet

Phantom

The floof · professional sniffer

Phantom is a very sweet ragdoll who grew up alongside Polter. She's about a year younger than him, has short little legs, and is essentially a giant ball of floof.

She's far more laid-back than her brother, although she does get the zoomies. Where Polter is needy around the clock, Phantom has exactly two settings: glued to you, or pretending you don't exist. Nothing in between. She has the voice of an angel but rarely uses it, and her favourite hobby is sniffing things. Thoroughly.

Phantom's health story

Phantom has had on-and-off digestive problems for most of her life. It took almost five years and around a dozen vet visits to find the cause: exocrine pancreatic insufficiency (EPI), which means her body doesn't make enough of its own digestive enzymes.

Before the diagnosis we tried diet after diet, and she struggled to keep weight on. Now every single meal is mixed with pancreatic enzymes, and she's much healthier for it. She also has only one working kidney, so she still needs constant care, and she gets it.

If your cat has EPI and you're in the middle of figuring it out: you're not alone, and it can get better.

Breed: Ragdoll
Born: Around 2020, a year after Polter
Build: Short legs, maximum floof
Known for: Sniffing everything, zoomies, an angelic voice
Settings: Needy or standoffish

Together

Frenemies for life

Polter and Phantom love each other dearly, and they are also constantly fighting. Their days are a rotation of tag, play-fights, full wrestling matches, and the occasional truce for cuddles.

Polter is bigger, with very long limbs, so he usually has the advantage in a wrestle. Phantom has much faster reflexes, though, and every now and then she gets the better of him.

Phantom generally knows when to stop. Polter sometimes doesn't, and gets disciplined for it. He's also deeply jealous, so if Phantom gets more attention than he does, everyone in the house will hear about it.

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